Stop Apologizing! It's not making ANYONE feel better!!

Which of the following is the best response?

1. "I am so sorry to hear that the vase you ordered arrived damaged."
2. "Mrs. Moneybux, I'm sorry that your account is overdrawn." 
3. "So you were driving down the highway and the wheels fell off of your bus?  I am very sorry about that."
4. "You had to wait 3 hours for a representative to answer your call?  Wow, I am really sorry." 
5. "Your computer crashed?  At least you have your health!"

We've trained thousands of reps and listened to a gillion interactions (that may be a slight exaggeration) and I'm going with number five!  Now before you quality coaches and management folks send me poison-emails, allow me to explain.

Elton John may have sung that "...sorry seems to be the hardest word."  But, things sure as heck have changed!  'Sorry' has become the easiest word in the average customer service representative's vocabulary, showing up as often as 'please' and 'thank you', and I am here to tell you STOP!  Stop saying it, stop letting others say it, stop hearing it, stop, stop, stop the madness!!!

First of all, the egregious overuse of a once effective word has rendered it nearly meaningless.  Be honest, the last time someone told you they were sorry (other than a family member or close friend) did you believe them?  Really believe them?  Or did you feel like they were saying it because that's what they were supposed to do?  I purchased an underwater camera as a gift for my niece's 6th birthday, specifically because three weeks later she was going on a Disney cruise and I wanted her to be able to use it on the trip.  Of course, there was something wrong with it, and they were unable to send a replacement in time for the trip.  My precious niece was disappointed, I was devastated and the customer service representative was sorry.  Who do you think felt better?


Which brings me to the second reason to stay away from 'I'm sorry'; have you ever apologized for something that you had no control over?  How'd that make you feel?  Before I stepped to the front of the conference room, I spent many years jacked in as a rep.  One of the more memorable stints was during a 'crisis'.  The company I was working for took a brave stand regarding a social issue, which resulted in thousands of calls from unhappy folks.  Upwards of 80 calls a day were simply complaints, for which we apologized. (By the way, I agreed with the decision my employer had made and was, actually, quite proud of their courageous position.)  By the end of the day I felt drained, depressed and damned for having spent 8 hours lying.  It's just not fair to require people to spend the day apologizing for something they have no control over.


And we have arrived at the third reason; accountability.  When you hear any apology, what's it make you think?  That there was something going on that deserved apologizing for!  I recently found out that the engine in my car needs to be replaced.  While this is actually covered under the warranty, I also found out that I need to be able to prove that my oil was changed every 3000 miles for the company to honor the agreement.  Since I change my own oil, I am unable to prove this to their satisfaction.  When I pointed out to the service manager that this policy seems like a convenient way for them to avoid replacing my engine (and a friend who worked for them confirmed this is a common problem with my car model) he agreed, and said he was sorry.


The only time a service representative should apologize is if the problem is something that they had control over.  Promised to call a customer back and forgot?  Apologize.  Didn't send out those coupons?  Apologize!  Ate the last slice of birthday cake in the break room?  APOLOGIZE!  And bring me a Boston creme donut tomorrow!


How, then, should we respond to the disappointed, distressed and downright disturbed caller?  If we aren't going to say 'I'm sorry' and we aren't going to ignore them (No, you can't just ignore them, good grief, that's worse than apologizing!) what to do?


Use the first step in Radclyffe's Interaction Strategy(TM) and Acknowledge The Concern.  Acknowledging The Concern is summarizing how the customer is feeling and paraphrasing his or her stated issue, which allows you to focus on the customer’s personal needs before moving into the business part of the call.  Customers need to know that they have been heard before they can relax and relinquish control of the call.  Apologizing doesn't accomplish that.  


People need to know that you have heard their issue, AND, that you understand the impact that it had on them.  


"I can imagine how disappointed you must be that your niece will not be able to take pictures on her vacation."


"I can hear that it upsets you that our company has chosen to support an issue with which you disagree."


"I know you must be frustrated that our policy seems designed to insure that we don't have to fix the lemon we sold you."  (Okay... technically that wouldn't be a great thing to say, but it's my blog so I can take a little detour into fantasy.)


Acknowledge Their Concern and your customers will KNOW that you really hear them and understand how the situation has impacted their life.  It will give them confidence in you and your ability to empathize with them in a professional and meaningful manner.  Once they have confidence in you, they will relax and allow you to get the information which is needed to resolve their issue, be open to the solution you offer and they will leave the interaction having enjoyed World Class Service.  

You'll never get all of that from 'Sorry'... even if Sir Elton himself is saying it.

Feedback is NOT a sandwich; 'Where's the BEEF?'

A colleague of mine, who is an internationally known author and speaker, successful entrepreneur, comic and really great guy, just loaded me into a time machine and took me back to the 1980's, where we invented the CD, invested in Microsoft and moon-walked our way across the dance floor.

OK, just kidding.  Though I do wish I had invested in Microsoft and if anyone is looking for a blazer with HUUUUGE shoulder pads, I still have a couple.

What my friend did do is publish an article on 'How to Give Feedback' that took me back in time.  It was all about the 'sandwich technique'.  Now, no offense to my pal or any of you that are fans of that approach, but, in the iconic words of a gravelly voiced Little Old Lady, "Where's the Beef?" 

For those of you too young to remember the 'sandwich' approach to giving corrective feedback (and who also probably don't remember that Little Old Lady's name), a quick review;

The 'sandwich technique' involved stuffing the corrective (Perhaps unpleasant? Unwelcome?) bit of feedback between two fluffy, nutritionally insignificant slabs of positive.  

Might sound a bit like this; "Wendy, it's great how you are all set to start work when you get to your desk, I really appreciate that you take the time to get breakfast, since it is the most important meal of the day...unfortunately, you are always 45 minutes late.  Do you think you could try to get to work on time in the future?...  Thanks so much for trying to do that and it's great that you bring coffee and donuts for the team, that's so very thoughtful, yummy!"

WRONG!  And on so many levels.

This style of feedback delivery harkens back to the days where supervisors and coaches were frequently the associates who had been working in the department the longest and had few qualifications and precious little training for delivering effective performance feedback.  This technique  was great because is was all 'warm and fuzzy', had a lot of buildup to get the coach going, and a nice smooth landing on the other side where the coach could re-establish that they were still 'friends'.  

It resulted in very little pushback from the recipient and even less actual CHANGE in performance.  Why?  Because clumping together all that feedback takes away from the positive, creates confusion so that the recipient doesn't know what to focus on, and, it leads people to begin to expect something negative is going to follow the positive.

"Honey, I love you but..."

Truth be told, the 'sandwich' approach is an attempt to manipulate people into accepting negative or constructive feedback and it is dated, ineffective and, frankly, insulting.

Feedback is a gift.  I know, we have all joked about the 'gift' of feedback, but you know what?  It is.  

No longer are supervisors and coaches chosen simply because they have been at the company the longest.  Service organizations recognize that those roles require very specific skills and competencies, as well as ongoing training, and are investing in hiring and promoting highly qualified, dedicated and committed people and entrusting them with the ongoing development of their critical, front-line representatives... the face of the company.

At the same time, the role and responsibilities of customer service representatives have become more clear, demanding and valued.  No longer are these folks order-takers and glorified operators, no... they are the direct conduit between a company and its customers, an unparallelled resource to collect information, track trends and generate revenue.  Today's customer service representatives do the heavy lifting for their organizations and that muscle needs more than a slice of bologna between two pieces of white bread to get the job done.

Feedback needs to have substance, be able to fuel growth, whether it is affirming a positive behavior, boosting an attempt or correcting a deficit.  At Radclyffe we have been instructing coaches on just how to maximize the value of their feedback sessions for nearly 20 years.  We have 'cracked the code' and developed a proven methodology, grounded in adult learning principles, that insures maximum retention and measurable improvement, when applied consistently; Radclyffe Partners ABC's of Immediate Feedback (TM).

If you have observed a behavior that needs to be addressed, you owe it to your representative or co-worker to do so in a clear, direct, respectful and constructive manner by following our strategy which focuses on ONE behavior at a time, gives either positive or constructive feedback - not BOTH - and is designed to insure that the associate is able to internalize the feedback without having an emotional response to it.

"Wendy, I wanted to speak with you about your attendance.  I notice that you arrive at 9am, but then go to the cafeteria to get your coffee and breakfast.  As a result, you aren't actually at your desk and available to take incoming calls until 9:20 or later.  If you want to get breakfast here, I'd suggest that you plan on getting on campus by 8:30 to give you enough time to get settled at your desk by 9.  Please give that a try, alright?"

No fluff, no filler, no indigestible by-products... a few minutes of preparation on the part of the coach, a few seconds of delivery side-by-side on the floor, a commitment to change and everyone gets on with business.

That is where you find the BEEF!  (Or, veggie protein, for our vegan friends)  

The ABC's of Immediate Coaching is just one component in our comprehensive Coaching for Service Excellence program, which includes in depth training and practice in the four most effective types of coaching, how to introduce and roll out your coaching program, get support and buy-in from all levels of the organization, track and analyze trends both by rep and department and use the coaching feedback and data to make reviews and performance plans a breeze to write and deliver.

We are so excited by this set of tools and how brilliantly effective they are, that we would like to offer a complimentary hour of consulting to help you or your coaches apply them within your organization.  

To get your coaching session, simply do two things; 

-sign up via email to have each new 'Customer Service Tail' delivered right to your inbox, and...


-leave me a comment including the name of that Crotchety Little Old Lady who was searching for the beef in the Wendy's commercials.

We'll contact you to work out the scheduling details.  Look forward to chatting!

Corgi Tails; Stop Measuring Meaningless Metrics!

My wireless service provider has once again been ranked at the top of the heap in yet another prestigious survey.  I would agree.  I had to call them last night, in fact, because my aircard was malfunctioning, and the representatives were polite, respectful, as knowledgeable as one would expect depending on whether you have been transferred to a service specialist or are dealing with the tier one rep.  They asked for an alternate callback number at the start of the call so that they could reach me should we become disconnected.  They respectfully referred to me as Ms.  They verified all information, were patient with my lack of technical savvy, walked me through each step of the process as they tried to resolve my issues, offered alternate solutions and reviewed next steps. Finally, at the end of the call the lovely woman assisting me noted that I might be receiving a follow up call and asked me if I would be able to agree that she 'tried her best to help me?'  I honestly and heartily said 'yes'.

My contract will expire in March.  I will be switching to another carrier.

Why?  In the 21 months I have been a customer of this company, I have had to call at least a dozen times, had my aircard device replaced a half dozen times, experienced more dropped calls than I can count and lost hours of valuable time trying to conduct business using their service.  Oh, and I clearly told both of the reps I spoke with last night that I will be taking my business elsewhere.  They each sincerely apologized... so what.

Here's the deal.  I am as passionate about service delivery as a person can be.   I have file cabinets full of customer sat surveys done by my clients that prove that I know what excellent service looks like and how to train reps to deliver it... problem is, we at Radclyffe have realized that we in the customer service industry have been measuring the wrong things!

Look at a typical call monitoring form.  It's a glorified checklist of did they or didn't they?  Did they use the standard greeting? Ask permission to hold? Use the callers name?  Blah, blah, blah.  Measured against that, everyone can 'meet' their service objectives.  But what about from the customers perspective?  

Ask me if the rep did everything she could to resolve my issue and the answer is 'yes'.  But ask me if my issue was resolved and the answer is a resounding 'NO'.

We owe it to our customers to start measuring the success of our interactions with them based on what matters to them.  To do that we need to look at the 'pivotal behavior',  that fork in the road where the call either headed off into the stratosphere of success, or took a turn down 'OK' Lane.  It's time to tear up the '50 point check list call monitoring form' and realize good enough ISN'T good enough. The only way to do this is to involve, empower and train your service people to not just respond to the stated issue, but to uncover and resolve the core issue.

Last night my issue was not that my aircard wasn't working... it was that it wasn't working AGAIN and I was in danger of missing a critical deadline at work.  I said it, three times... but neither of the polite, friendly, NICE reps heard me.  Well, they won't be hearing me in March, either... one of their competitors will. Oh, and I KNOW why they ask for that 'alternate' callback number... it's because even they know that if I am calling from my cellphone we are pretty darn likely going to get disconnected.  Hey, at least they position the request positively!

That's my rant for today.  Oh, and I promised to answer the question how fast does a Corgi wag its tail in the next 'Corgi Tails', if you really want to know, leave me a comment.